So earlier last year, I set the stage for a comicing disaster of operatic proportions, and I have no intention of leaving you folks hanging. Let’s get on with it!

“REALAWORLD CHAPTER 1: THE MYSTERIOUS DAZE OF NIGHT”

We can already tell from the title that this is gonna be a good one. Let’s take a look at the cover, shall we?

A more accurate depiction of the suffering within this book would be to have NiGHTS pinned to a cross. Let me just say, I think this is actually a pretty good cover (once again supplied by Spaz), EXCEPT for that AWFUL CG coloring. I don’t know why but that shit was rampant on Sonic comics around this time, as if there was an editorial mandate on taking decent cover compositions and running then through some CG mud. Or perhaps it was intentional on the artist’s part?? The use of bright, garish colors is not unlike that of the poison dart frog or the common hornet, trying to warn us of the grim realities that await us should we wander too close. Whatever the case, those warnings were not heeded, and I paid dearly as a result.

And now, so shall you.

Let’s not dwell on the mundane bits for too long: the comic opens up with our heroes Elliot and Claire getting ready for their HOT DATE with one another, and apparently they decide to whip into full-blown exposition of what happened in NiGHTS 1-3 in what I hope is their attempt to alleviate pre-date jitters. I refuse to post the rest of this spread because it’s most shots of feet and it’s too early for dumb shit like that.

BUT IT WAS ALL A DREAM…..man, what did those crazy kids eat???

Oh silly me it was the prank of Reala, the evil dream jester that also feels the urge to narrate his lil heart out.

For those who give a damn about a recap: NiGHTS kills Wizeman in the first 3 issues of the comic and almost dies in the process. Claire and Elliot saves NiGHTS’ life and somehow it transports him from the dream world to the real world.

Now I showed these pages in full for two reasons; first off, there are still coherent backgrounds present. Secondly, the art is still recognizable as Spaz, though you can start to see the bits of Sam Maxwell leaking through—mostly in the form of those awful bits of oil slick shading, and half-assed, inconsistent details like Wizeman’s hand on that Reala page. Sadly, these 3 pages are about the only decent stuff you’ll see—from here, Maxwell’s taint sets in quickly.

So now we cut to NiGHTS flyin’ around the real world all like WHOA THIS IS TIGHT these dudes are skydiving and then

AUGHHHHHHHHHH

One of the skydivers is so taken aback by the sheer horror of the walleyed flying anime fan that he turns a terrible shade of citrus and attempts to kick himself in the face.

Next we get an expert display of heroism from our hero:

I think it would have been great if NiGHTS had the inverse reaction and cut everyone else’s chutes so they could catch up with Toby.

MEANWHILE

Elliot and Claire are getting pretty bored of being in their own comic. I would be too if my school looked like a baby vomited pea soup. ALSO: check out that CEILING BASKETBALL HOOP AND THE AMAZING LEVITATING SMURF CHILD stuck on the wall in panel 3. Holy shit.

AND MEANWHILE NIGHTS IS ON A GODDAMN RAMPAGE

I love how this dream being is loose in a world he doesn’t understand, and one of the first actions he performs is to barrel headfirst into a skylight and scream at whoever may be in earshot. I know the intent is to make him horribly naive, but I think he’s just got some form of Nightopian Rabies, if that mouth in the last panel is any indication. I’d also like to draw your attention to the line about giving NiGHTS “A BELLYFUL OF BLAST,” which I tout as the worst possible expression that has ever been invented for use in any written medium.

GOOD THING THAT COLOR GRADIENT WAS THERE TO STOP ‘EM

I think my favorite detail is how this buff terrorist dude seems to lose half his muscle mass between panels 2 and 3.

By this point you can tell which stuff was Spaz breakdowns and which stuff was Sam Maxwell having an artistic breakdown. I do not mind mediocre comic art as long as there is some function and consistency to it, but this book is a quality control nightmare. I don’t know how extensive Spaz’s breakdowns were for this book—the first three pages were most certainly the most closely followed, but from there either Spaz just gave up when he found out who would be doing the finishing work, or Maxwell just flat out did not give a shit about coloring inside the lines as it were. I’m inclined to think it’s the latter, as there are patches here and there that look more like Spaz, and then it immediately reverts to Maxwell’s primordial goop.

And this is to say nothing of the coloring, which looks like a lime took a shit over most of the backgrounds. But given that it was Ken Penders providing the coloring, I am not at all shocked by his predilection towards green—if you know of his later Knuckles stories in the Sonic comic, you know what I mean.

And much like NiGHTS, this is all I can stomach posting for now! I’ll get the rest of this issue up at some point to punish you all further. Until then: